Good News, Bad News

Good News: I got my first buck in probably five years the other day.

Bad News: Instead of my customary 1968 Winchester 30-30 lever action (muzzle velocity 750 feet/sec), I had to bag him with my 2003 Kia Spectra (unlit-army-tank-trail-through-the-woods velocity roughly 60mph).

Knowing what even a moderately sized Minnesota whitetail will do to a sedan, my first thought as he jumped out of the bushes was "ohshit," but the poor little guy had more hangtime than Todd Sauerbrun, such that I had time to think up that little quip, realize that his trajectory meant he was probably too small to do much damage, cringe as he went through the reflectors posted over the guardrail, and change the station away from Gwen Stefani's latest 'musical' debacle, all before he hit the ground.

In fact, in the dark with my little land navigation photon light, I couldn't even see that he had cracked my grill and bent my hood just a little. I'll be honest though, I was more concerned about the twitching going on off the side of the road and how I was going to dispatch him with only my trusty Gerber. As it turned out, all the kicking was apparently post-mortem, as far as I could tell. (Dented skull, no reaction to being handled, no eye reflexes.) That was a good thing. The attempt would not have been pretty, and all I wanted to do was go home and sleep.

I believe this is the first vertebrate I've run over that has been large enough for me to know for certian I had hit it.

I did entertain the though of going back up there to take a trophy style photo with him, but seeing as how I don't advocate running down small animals, how this one definitely qualified as small (I've seen larger rabbits. Ok, maybe not. But there are some killer hares around here.), and how my designated photographer is currently having some issues with nausea, there is probably no picture coming.


P.S. You know you're in the Army when the MPs (and the Polizei) have to file a formal report about everything and you choose to tell them where the accident took place by giving them an 8-digit grid coordinate. "Roger. Deer down, vicinity grid November Alpha 8660 5275." Dork.