Parenting

I don't get out much. I don't mind so much, given my schedule allowing for only a couple quiet hours in the evening before my internet surfing and reading really starts to cut into tomorrow's productivity (and hence your well spent tax dollars). Lately we've been spending much of our time sitting on the couch insulting cats and staring at the Wife's belly. (I know, I know. Pictures. Got it.)

I feel like I really ought to start developing some sort of parenting formula that I want to use. I've come to the realization that I don't know anything about being a parent. Throughout our lives we are continually prepared for our next steps. Schools gradually progress into college and then training for whatever job we end up getting. I've been trained for pretty much every undertaking that I've moved into. Throw in youth sports and Army-ness, and the vast majority of my life has been learning, or practcing, or training for something.

And now God's just going to give me a kid. And I'm vastly underqualified. The military part of me demands some sort of Baby OIC course, or (literally) 'crawl, walk, run' training, or a huge fatherhood PowerPoint memorandum of instruction in my Inbox. Can I get a dry run? A risk management worksheet? Nothing?

There's no evaluation, either. No quarterly reviews or Parent Evaluation Reports. You just have to wait 20 years and hope you didn't screw them up too bad and that they'll throw out a 'Thanks' when they look around and see how their peers ended up.

The scary thing is, I have a feeling I'm much better prepared than most. The best parenting instruction is done by observing good parenting, so at least I have that going for me. I did plenty of babysitting. I feet like I've contributed during the early years of two or three kids already.

Mom and Dad never made it seem like such a big deal. Maybe all will be well. And maybe I should publish some trial parenting philosophy so someone can stop me before I really screw this up.